Romance? not so much (reprinted)

I am reprinting this from my extended family's blog by request (written in January of 2010)

Over the course of the 15 years with my husband (almost 13 of those spent married to him). I have accused him many times of being unromantic. Oh sure, he buys me the obligatory box of chocolates each Christmas, but it is usually the nut variety, of which I am allergic, and each year, he thinks he is surprising me, and each year, it is the one gift that I didn’t wrap myself. I can’t count the number of anniversary, or valentine cards that said something like “Have fun you two, anniversaries only come around once a year”. Or “Happy valentines day honey, your Dad and I are so proud.” He means well, he just sometimes misses the mark, and gets me the first card that he sees. I recently tried to hint that I wanted this Jessica Rabbit type satin nightgown. He looked right past it and tried to get me the much more practical two piece set next to it, I gave him that look, the one that says” Really? Those are what you want me to wear?” I did not get the night gown, I bought myself a consolation pair of Red Mary Jane’s instead.


For years, I have spent a small fortune on scented lotions, and perfume, trying to elicit some sort of response from my husband. I was not looking for anything big, just a “You smell nice”. Or, some other such sentiment. One day, I was sitting next to my husband , when he leaned over to me and said “MMMMMMMM, You smell so good”! I was ecstatic! He had finally noticed! I spent the day riding the compliment like a surfer rides a wave. That is, until later that evening, I realized, that I had not worn any perfume, or scented lotion that day, Instead, he smelled the Dryell I had used to home dry clean my sweater. He has to this day, not mentioned another scent that I have worn.

Valentines, Anniversaries, Birthdays and Christmas’s, were usually a let down, until many years back, I decided to just take him with me, and buy things I liked, or buy my own presents, wrap them and act surprised on each occasion. I have surprised myself with Phantom of the Opera tickets, a lovely new coat, and a new ring for my 10th anniversary (it was really pretty). This Christmas seemed to be following the prescribed course, he came with me, and let me get several pairs of my favorite shoes; Mary Jane’s, and a pair of boots. He also, with my help, picked out a lovely new rice maker. I as usual, wrapped them myself, and placed them under the tree.

On Christmas Eve, he came home from work early, which was a good thing, because I was overwhelmed, and still had many things to cook before the evening’s dinner. He told me that he had to wrap some of my presents, and I resentfully told him that I had wrapped everything, and he needn’t bother. He said “I got you something that you don’t even know about.’ I rolled my eyes, (imagining my “surprise” chocolates) and left the room. About an hour later, he came out with a grin like the Cheshire cat, and said “You have to open these right now.” I said “I don’t want to open the few things, I don’t know about right now.” He was jumping up and down like, well a kid at Christmas, and said “trust me”. So with a huge eye roll, (I know, I am such a brat) I started to open the presents. Did I mention that despite his gift buying lack he is a very talented gift wrapper. So I opened my presents (there were 3 ) And found a new kitchenaid bowl, 3 lids, and a new dough hook! I was so excited, I had dropped hints that I would be a much more proficient cook, if I had an extra bowl to switch between, when I am cooking. (I actually needed a new paddle, not a hook, but was not about to split hairs). He had finally done it. After 15 years together, he had gotten me the ultimate romantic gift. I guess old dogs can learn new tricks. And they say romance is dead.